back home

in an attempt to reboot i did a major overhaul in my bedroom today. my parents knew that coming home to etobicoke was not what i wanted to do so they helped set up a new closet for me. wooo hoo! i looked for a place to sublet but my lack of funds and hopes for graduate school in the future prevented it. so i began cleaning out my etobicoke room today, i did it in london right before i left, but this room had like high school baggage kicking around.
i just filled the giant black garbage bag to the brim of all personal baggage from the past. it's time to throw it there and keep it there. this way, at least i can look around my room and find peace. since i can't live downtown i thought i'd do the next best thing...find a job downtown. so off i go tomorrow morning to roam the streets of my favourite city and try to place i can call my second home at least.
wish me luck

cathartic

i feel like i've had the wind knocked out of me
like my stomach is twisted into knots and won't come loose.
i just want to unravel it, make sense of it and stop worrying about it. i have always had to talk to my girlfriends about guys and delivered the standard lines that they're not good enough, you can do better and that you don't deserve the treatment you've been getting. lately i've been hearing a lot of the same things out of my girls' mouths and i never believed it.
today i believe it
today as i pack my bags and get ready to move back to toronto, as much as it twists my stomach and hurts my head - i believe it
so as i took down the pictures and threw away the notes this song come onto my itunes and speaks volumes


There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
- Stars

in honor of all this strength that i am mustering inside of me, i am getting my tattoo this week. it will be beautiful and will remind me that i've gotta do me right, and i have the strength to do it.

it's a wonderful life

as the countdowns continue, the diliriousness kicks in and the red bull intake has increased. club weldon and i continue to become closer friends, spending my afternoons and nights there for another week and then FREEDOM.
BUT i do have something to look forward to, i've decided to get a tattoo.
i always said i would only get a tattoo when i had the inspiration for it, when it meant something to me and signified something important. i woke up one morning and just knew what i wanted on my body, and i haven't stopped thinking about it since. so the appointment has been booked and this tattoo will be a celebration of the year that has passed and the roller coaster years that have gone by. i've done stupid shit in my days and gone down some paths that although i don't regret, definately took alot out of me and some say set me back. i disagree, they pushed me forward. so my tattoo will be a celebration of me, a strong individual who has had the power to make it through and continues to go forward.

if anyone remembers my industrial piercing and stretched ear holes of high school you'll know i'm not very good with needles. so wish me luck, can't wait to show you all this beauty.

putting mit to good use

Several weeks ago the Western's student run newspaper "The Gazette" printed an April fool's spoof edition. While this is a tradition with the Gazette, this year they seemed to push the boundaries. The spoof article featured a rather offensive article titled "Labia Majora Carnage." Assumedly written as a form of satire, the article's premise was a Take Back the Night March led by Western's Women's Issues Network.

For a copy of the article: http://vermicious-nat.livejournal.com/94485.html

To my knowledge the issue was written by a bunch of drunk Gazette writers who thought they were coming up with something clever and satirical. Furthermore, the writers who wrote the articles published them under pseudonyms. Even with only a few years of MIT under my belt I have come to realize that the writers who love ignorant jokes also tend to hide behind anonymity. If you really believe in the words that you wrote and that what you were trying to do is indeed valid then you would attach your name to it. Instead, the Gazette seems to be taking an 'it was a joke, deal with it' attitude until recently when they finally published an apology. After I heard about this apology, I was invited by a Gazette editor to join a Facebook group entitled "I Enjoyed the Western Gazette Spoof Issue." The group claims that feminist activists took the article out of proportion and that the controversy surrounding the spoof issue is ridiculous and laughable. Take a stand Gazette! Don't tell me it was a joke and then backpedal and then backpedal again. There is no journalistic responsibility in this. The newspaper is supposed to cover daily events on campus and within London that are relevant to student life. Now with all the controversy surrounding the issue, members of the Gazette next year need to deal with the problem and anyone who's name is associated with it will have an even more difficult time proving their journalistic integrity when trying to find a job in the future.
Ultimately the members of the Gazette thought that this ignorant article was a good idea, if this is something that they continue to stand behind then stand up, tell me who you are and be a real journalist - I assume this is a career you want in the future. While there will always be controversy with any form of media, the members of the Gazette have handled the issue poorly. National Canadian news networks have covered the issue including the CBC, Toronto Star, CanWest and SunMedia. Clearly there is an issue of equality within this country that is at hand here and deserves closer examination. Personally, I find their satire ignorant and their ways of handling the controversy laughable. Good luck in the future Gazette, seems this 'spoof' edition may have messed things up for your staff in the future.

hopeful

can i find the strength within
to live my life without you

its that time of year....

you know the time of year when everyone puts countdowns and exam schedules on msn names, when summer is so close you can already taste the pitchers. i'm compiling the summer concert list and excited to buy sunglasses and sandles. its the time of year when going to work seems like a refreshing change from the papers and exams. i myself find many different ways to avoid studying for finals and the majority of these ways to procrastinate involve looking at what to do for the next four months. so i will continue to dream of ray bans and patios, of getting high in the grass at a wonderful concert and my personal favourite - being in the city i love for four months. as much as i hate etobicoke, i don't intend to be there often. unfortunately my favourite roomie and best bud will be far away in banff so she can't join me in all these fun adventures :(

so in celebration of another year ending, and a farewell to hezz, the crew went out for a last night of dancing and drinking. although the bars were dead, for the first time in a long time we busted a move and brought the party. the night concluded with a rip in my favourite jeans and the morning included a terrible hangover.
so what do i do when i ruin expensive pants and fuck up my knee? simple, i buy new shoes. they're beautiful and i can't wait to wear them



i intend to practically be living downtown this summer and hopefully going places where i can rock these beauties.

hellooo procrastination

helllooo final papers and exams
the time of year i dread the most has now arrived. while i should be churning papers out like it is my full time job, instead i procrastinate by writing blogs and creeping facebook (aka stalkerbook).
i'm supposed to be writing a paper about conglomerates. i should be attempting to connect Disney and Orientalism (Said's theory) but instead i just want to recap whats been going on with me. while mit has been going fabulous and i am loving what i do more and more as the days go on, the life outside of school has definately been a roller coaster. things did not go as planned this year...although i suppose they never do. the perfect house turned out to be awkward and often uncomfortable and the perfect boyfriend couldn't decided what he wanted thus resulting in an ex boyfriend and my new single status. This in itself has been rather difficult to get used to but i'm sure it will happen eventually. but it hasn't been all bad, the crew is still strong and the friends are still fabulous. for the first time EVER i have a group of girlfriends and i wanted to reflect on that for a little bit. i have often been the girl who has a lot of guy friends, hates the girly girls and finds most girlfriends are not trustworthy and can do some pretty awful things. i was lucky to find the opposite in my roomie (who i will miss dearly when she leaves me for banff this summer) and also managed to get some lovely lady friends this year. my mom used to tell me that its important to have a handful of girlfriends but i never really quite understood why until this year. they are the kind of people who can really lift your spirits when your in a shitty mood ready to take you shopping, dancing and drinking. don't get me wrong, my boys from windermere are amazing and have no trouble getting me tanked to forget stupid things happening around me BUT they're not really the call at three in the morning when your bummed out type. although looking back so many parts of this year have been less than ideal, every year here at western has managed to give me something and this year not only did i get to really know what i love to do in school but i found fabulous girls and new ways to love london (who would have thought). there are ways to have fun in this city that don't involve the meat market at jim bobs or the losers who partake in bottle service at barking frog (which is RIDICULOUS by the way...i'm sure a rant will come soon about this one).
anyhooooot i hope it has been a good year for everyone, i wish you good luck with the final exams and the final papers. its back to disney for me and in the spirit of procrastination season...the posts will come. i apologize for neglecting you dear blog, but lets give this another go shall we....